Bhumika Desai Shah

How woke your patriotism is?

In Uncategorized on February 20, 2019 at 8:02 am

“What theme we should follow? how about using colorful candles this time for a change- I have few from last Diwali stalk. Achha how about going to dinner afterwards as we will be tired?”-She was painting her well-shaped nails and talking to her friend.

Image result for candle march pic india

Guess where she was planning to go? – to a candle march to express grief!

“Beta, Its too simple to reply you want to be teacher. You should aspire like- I want to be a soldier and protect/serve my country. Just to brag about, you don’t need to be one in real. Patriotism works everywhere. You will get vote of sympathy!”- He was preparing his daughter for elocution competition on the topic- My dream career.

Welcome to India.

Let me talk about “we average Indians”, who conditionally love country.

We are self-proclaimed patriots of highest degree of hypocrisy. Our patriotism is seasonal. Mostly our patriotism is on fire on 15th August, 26th January. Though our patriotism wakes up on certain specially triggered events also. Like one happened on 14th February at Pulwama.

Nearly 43 Central Reserve Police Force (CRPF) personnel were killed and many others injured when terrorists targeted a convoy with a car bomb at Awantipora in Jammu and Kashmir’s Pulwama district on Thursday, in what is the worst attack ever on security personnel in the state. Reports suggested that the vehicle used by the terrorists was a Mahindra Scorpio carrying more than 350 kg of explosives. The injured have been moved to the army base hospital in Srinagar, 20 km from the attack site.  Pakistan-based terrorist group Jaish-e-Mohammed has claimed responsibility for the attack.

As soon as out Facebook, Twitter,Instagram , Whatsapp accounts started crying about above incident- our passively sleeping patriotism sparked.

Image result for partritism sarcasm india

We – everyone felt the competition of posting emotional-cringe worthy-sentimental long patriotic- terror bashing posts with pictures(Too inappropriate to be posted on SM!) . We had to prove our love for our country and hence we finished our candle light- valentine dinners at fancy restaurants little too quick, clicking only few romantic pictures(to be posted once our patriotism hibernates!).

And we worked few extra hours at night- posting our anger-rage-frustration-incapability of government, uselessness of opposition etc in virtual world.

We also changed our DPs on various social media platforms to black for showing our grief.

We had to also post relevant whatsapp, insta, FB stories and hence we searched for appropriate posts, edited them and posted in no time. (So much work to be done!)

We did our jobs well and slept under our cozy warm blankets putting our AC on.

The next day also we had to work harder and longer. We had to post all possible videos, images, posts and keep our patriotism ignited. We did it. We did it well.

The day after next day we felt little relaxed. We resumed routine and booked movie tickets, changed back to colorful DPs, started posting sick humor and sliding into DMs to flirt. Oh Boy! Time flies! Our Patriotism woke up, worked it off and slept back!

If you are still reading this, You must ask me- So what? So what I want average Indian to do? They should not even express their anger? Should not post their rage? Should not ask for revenge?

Yes. Yes. Yes. With all equal and valid rights Yes! Show your anger, Ask your questions, shower your love but also do something in real- REAL for your love for your country.

Ask yourself and your loved ones-

  • Will you motivate and guide your kids to join armed forces? if not- WHY?

We aspire for our kids to be engineers, doctors, CA, MBA etc- but never a soldier. Living under constant insecurity and life threat is not easy. We want our kids to be safe, happy and enjoying life all ways and we also ask for war in anger without thinking of its consequences! Its easy and convenient for us as the one who is going to war front is not our loved one. Think about it.

Asking for war is asking for blood, blood of so many soldiers and families. War should be last option and our patriotism should respect emotions of our brave hearts and their families while commenting, arguing, posting logic-less stupid content.

Lets be wise. Lets experts decide.

 

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Motherhood- What all you need to know!

In About ME, social Issue, Uncategorized on November 1, 2018 at 5:43 am

Image result for  baby blues after maternity

What is common between Serena Williams, Beyoncé and Me?

We are speaking out about post pregnancy trauma which is also called Postnatal depression, Baby blues or postpartum challenge. Know the difference between these possible depressions? have a look-

postpartum-depression_copy

Don’t google what these words mean if you don’t know it already! Let me explain it slowly..

Every woman dreams about motherhood and her babies at certain age. The traditions, cultural, society, movies, books- everyone has said fascinating experiences about being mother. Like-

“mother is as divine as God”

“The best feeling in the world is feeling your baby inside your body and holding baby in your hands first time!”

“Seeing your baby growing up is happiness. Spending time with your baby is divine!”

“A mother can sacrifice anything for her kid! ANYTHING!”

“After pregnancy a mother is born. She lives only for her kids. “

“A perfect mother creates a perfect and happy family!”

Above stated are just few glorified statements!

Just few!

We have heard sooooooo much about motherhood but we have heard only good-rosy side of it.

Has ever someone told a mother-to-be that-

“Life will be upside down after the baby!”

“You won’t ever again get sound sleep for coming 2-3 years. “

“Your priorities will change and you will have zero time for self, forget career or passion.”

“Your body will never be back as it was. Even after losing weight it will never be same as it was.”

“You will feel constant guilt for doing/not doing/not doing at par something or other thing for the baby!”

“You will be judged and labeled for everything baby does or does not do. “

The list can go loooong!

So in short we are never counseled about blues we will have to face after motherhood. So what?

So…

Every first time mommy goes through emotional stigma which even she don’t know exactly about.

Even after second child, mommies go through same distress. Why?

First- No fact sharing about troubles before and after delivery.

Second- No or little cooperation from family members in bringing up the little baby.

Talking about the first reason- what do you think, what all changed woman go through before/after delivery? Let me list few-

During 9 months of pregnancy- she does..

  • Gain lots and lots of weight
  • Her body changes and she goes through constant pain here or there
  • Countless sleepless nights make it worse
  • She can’t eat her favorite(even normal) food
  • She can’t continue doing all her normal/regular activities- slowly her motions starts getting restricted for the safety of baby
  • She is responsible to do yoga-Dhyan-read spiritual books to instill good values in soon-coming-baby. SHE ONLY!
  • She can’t take medicines if has headache-body ache or anything!
  • She has to stop having tea-coffee as it can give her acidity.
  • She is puke-ready everytime, ready to puke regardless time-place knowledge.

Fewwwwww- list is long. Though not every woman goes through same. Exceptions are also there!

Believe me it’s not easy to deal with them all. Have been through it twice.

Talking about second point- little or no cooperation from family front.

In our society-traditions raising a kid is a mother’s job. She is given the honor of GOD to make her understand she no more owns her life.

Feeding baby, changing nappies n-number of times, cleaning baby, bathing the little one, making baby sleep, soothing crying baby, playing with baby, helping baby learn things slowly- EVERYTHING HING. She is responsible to do everything. Worst is if the baby becomes ill, she is answerable!

It’s difficult. Most of the time families try to support but don’t provide adequate support. Most families advice the mother to be with baby 24*7 and they support by doing household duties. Or help little by playing with kid for few minutes till he/she starts crying loudly. We need to understand that the mother not just need bodily rest but also mental peace. She should be given some HER TIME. The time when baby is with some family member regularly and mother can do something she enjoys or just not-do-anything and chill. Families need to support by doing every bit they can do for baby as mother is already doing everything and only way to relax her is giving her some space and peace.

Other than above stated two topics what caused depression at core is judgments-comments-labels-gossips around the new mother. About -how she is failing being good mother, how she is not taking good care of baby, how she can’t calm her crying baby, how her baby is ill very frequent and she is careless about it, how she has started working or spending time on self despite having baby! I wonder they(read society!) will even worry when the mother breathes air as she could spend that energy-time for baby instead!

Serena Williams has talked about her agony on her Instagram page- how she constantly feels that she is not being a good mother or she is failing being a perfect mother. Same is story with Beyoncé. Alike I have also been through! I am sure many of you readers have experienced it but never discussed it in fear of being judged or labeled – not-a-good mother.

Ladies- it’s time to talk.

Talk about our pains and our emotional outbursts. It’s time to slam the “mother is god” –“Perfect mom”-“super mom”-“sacrificing mom”- all the labels back on their face. As we don’t seek their certificates and mother is human and entitled to all humanly feelings!

Let’s be Human only and stop being god, super mom or Balidan ki Devi for the sake of society.

Above all let’s take care of all mom-to-be or moms about to go through or going through this phase.

Image result for mother

Let’s spread facts and help fight the fury!

दो लोग – गुलज़ार at his Best!

In Uncategorized on March 30, 2018 at 12:39 pm

Reading poems of Gulzar sir is divine feeling. Reading short stories of Gulzar sir is heavenly travel through touching humanly emotions. Reading Novel written by Gulzar Sir was an experience never before. Like dwelling in thousands of emotions and carrying countless feelings- emotions and feelings of characters and stories.

Before reading DO Log, I had read – half a rupee stories and Ravi par ki kahaniya – both collection of short stories by Gulzarsir. Even I have loved reading poem collections by Gulzarsir and hence had been eagerly waiting to read Do Log novel.

Before starting this novel I had not gone through any review and had no presumption about story line. As reading Gulzarsir in Hindi is more appealing considering Urdu words majorly used- I had preferred reading this novel also in Hindi. When first I took this book in my hands the tag line provoked thousands of thoughts within me.

Do Log- Hum ek the. Ek alag ho gaya. Ab hum do Log hain.

Such simple words yet such a deep meaning.

The novel is based on India-Pakistan partition era. I have read many books on partition theme and found most of them biased towards one community or the other. And hence starting reading this one generated same feelings into me. I was curious to know how Gulzarsir would talk about partition as he has been through that era-pain-suffering. We all have just read about partition and loss during partition time but only those who have loved that can justify the true emotions well.

The book started narrating stories of many characters during 1946. Stories of different characters- simple-alike us. The characters whose names could make us associate certain religion with them but their conduct-nature-humanity put them all same-equal. The characters who lived different life before partition yet loved their motherland.

The story grew up in the background of a small town called Kembalpur (Atak originally, in Pakistan after partition). In this small town many families of different religions-Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian- lived together their own lives. The story grew slowly talking about many emotions such as- religion, friendship, hate, jealousy, satisfaction, sacrifice etc. the strong narration of characters and bond between them makes those character live inside reader forever. Every character is glorified with own circumstances-emotions-misery without any bias.

The simplicity of story is its boost. Slowly story reached to 1947 and consequences of Britishers leaving India- breaking India into two parts. The pain and confusion of people is perfectly narrated in small and effective incidents. People, regardless their religion, show strong love-bond for their mother-land and despite of partition based on religion- feel reluctant to relocate. Such a pure love!

From reach to poor, from lonely ones to families- how lives got shattered is described in depth. Many characters of Kempbalpur have to relocate to India as now their mother land is going to be called Pakistan. The misery and pain is beyond description yet the simple characters and simple incidents convey it strongly.

The migration of Refugees starts and lacs of shattered poor souls live their origin- not knowing where they are heading. Many get killed-raped-robbed in their travel and many die of the pain. Many reach to the new land, which is not their own. The misery and pain to settle at new place being refugee, re rooting self – becomes life long process.

The story keeps all characters and their tangled threads alive till end. It shows their resettlement in India and their struggle as well.

What is strongly showcased is the fact that- those souls who had left their roots could never re root to new place even after decades. The pain and memories haunted them forever.

Slowly story progresses to 80s talking about Indira Gandhi murder and the post anti-Sikh riots. The suffering of the same characters who were still struggling in making their shelters -their nests – is painful.

The entire story unbiasedly narrates how humanity is killed in era of partition. How one nation was divided in two like two brothers got separated. How those two brothers who got separated could never unite- or live peaceful life ever. How both nations kept burning on name of religion years after years!

A must read for all.

A treat for eyes and brain. A thought provoking one- an eye opener as well.

🙂

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